Why is care important in a relationship?

Care is better than cure. And this applies not only to our individual health, but also if we want a healthy, happy relationship. If spoken out lout, this is clear to everyone: everything that lives needs nutrients. Even a small blade of grass does not live long without water, sunlight and the nutrients from the earth. If you want a healthy relationship, you should also take care of it. The problem, however, is that in all the hustle and bustle, our s.o. often joins the end of the queue and they only get loud when they can no longer ignore their pain. But it doesn't have to come to that, right? 

In this article I share three things that we can all easily integrate into our everyday life - even if it is sometimes stressful. Maybe the things seem natural to you. Then you can see this article as a little reminder to put them into practice. We all know that stairs would do our bodies better than the lift. And yet we are sometimes too comfortable to do the work. Plus, the following tips have been repeatedly confirmed by various studies. 

This might also be of interest to you: Why we secretly refuse to see relationships as work

How do you take care of your relationship?

1. A healthy relationship needs gratitude.

Sure, sole gratitude doesn't change your situation - but it does change your perspective and most of all, it gives the other person the appreciation he or she deserves. She/he keeps your back free, cooks dinner, listens to all your thoughts, loves you even when you are sleepy, grumpy and stressed.
You can show your gratitude with words, with small gifts or by really taking time for the other person. The "languages of love" can help you to show your gratitude to your significant other in the right way. Gratitude is not just something that doesn't take much time. It also does us good to us, gives us peace and brings a smile to our faces.

2. Talk regularly about your relationship.

For many people a relationship conversation is connected with stress: Have I done something wrong? But our fear of criticism can also take away the chance that our relationship will stay alive.

We miss development potential or grow apart. We alienate or become more and more like a flat-sharing community. Conversations about our relationship can also be a chance to tell each other what we are grateful and happy for. 

3. Generosity is key in your relationship.

No matter if it is about who takes the first step after a quarrel or about small gifts. At the beginning of a relationship we often shower people with symbols of our love and appreciation. And how compassionate we deal with their quirks and imperfections. 

But sometimes, we stop being generous and building up walls instead. If we stop being generous, we most often become somebody we don’t like either - because most of us really enjoy being nice to our loved ones.
Being generous does not mean that you are wasting yourself. Generosity is often an inner attitude: it means not wanting to count up; trusting that good things will find their way back; enjoying to give.

As you can see, it doesn't take much to maintain a relationship - and it can also be fun. A healthy relationship can also survive crises or periods of thirst. But for this we need these and other self-love rituals in our relationships. 

If you are looking for a personal coaching for you and your loved ones, feel free to contact me. I offer couples counseling online and in Munich. 

My name is Dr. Sharon Brehm and I offer systemic couple therapy and EFT couple therapy in Munich. My office for single and couple therapy is right in the center of Munich.

On my blog you will find all interessting thoughts about love and relationships: From interviews with other couple therapists, to information about emotions and relationship advice. Right now, I’m translating my articles step by step - if you are impatient, check the German version and have a look there :)

If you want to get to know me more, you can find me also on Instagram! If you prefer videos: I also have a few YouTube videos on my channel (though in German, but maybe this is the time to work on your language skills too ;) . You’d help me a lot, if you subscribe to it!

Photo credit: Pricilla Du Preez via unsplash